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Published on 22 Jul 2025 by Dean H.
Every family is unique and so is every parenting style. As a nanny or domestic helper, one of the most important parts of your job is to support the parenting approach of your employers. But what happens when the rules or methods differ from what you're used to? Or when one parent is strict and the other is more relaxed?
Don't worry, this guide will help you understand and navigate different parenting styles with professionalism, care, and respect.
What are the most common parenting styles?
Understanding basic parenting styles can help you recognise what kind of environment you’re working in. Here are four common approaches:
- Authoritative: Balanced and consistent. Parents set rules but are also warm and communicative.
- Authoritarian: Strict and rule-based. Less flexibility and emotional expression.
- Permissive: Very lenient. Kids are given a lot of freedom and parents often avoid saying "no."
- Uninvolved: Minimal supervision or involvement. Parents may be busy or emotionally distant.
Most parents don't fit perfectly into one category, they may mix styles depending on the situation.
Tips for handling different parenting styles
1. Observe and learn first
Before jumping in, take time to observe how the parents interact with their children. What are their routines, discipline methods, and priorities? This gives you a clearer picture of how to support them.
2. Communicate early and often
Clear communication is key. Ask about the family’s expectations, rules, and boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like:
- “How would you like me to handle tantrums?”
- “What’s your approach to screen time?”
- “Do you allow snacks before dinner?”
This shows respect and willingness to follow their lead.
3. Stay consistent with their rules
Even if their parenting style is different from what you believe in, your role is to follow their rules. Children thrive on consistency, so try to avoid sending mixed messages.Style is different from what you believe in, your role is to follow their rules. Children thrive on consistency, so try to avoid sending mixed messages.
Example: If the parents say “no sweets after 5 PM,” even if you think one cookie won’t hurt, it’s important to stick to their rule.
4. Handle conflicting parenting styles respectfully
Sometimes, one parent may be more strict while the other is more relaxed. This can be confusing for you and the children. When in doubt:
- Follow the parent who gave you the most recent or direct instruction.
- Don’t take sides.
- Politely ask for clarification when needed.
You might say: “Earlier you mentioned we should do X, but today Y was suggested, just checking which one you’d prefer I follow.”
5. Be a calm and neutral support
Avoid commenting or judging their parenting style. Even if you see something that feels “wrong” to you, your job is to support, not to correct. Focus on keeping the children safe, happy, and cared for.
6. Offer suggestions gently (If asked)
If you’ve built trust with the family and they ask for your opinion, it’s okay to share your experience but always be respectful. Use phrases like:
- “In my past experience, this worked well with toddlers.”
- “Would you like me to try a different method if this one isn’t working?”
Remember: You’re part of the team
As a nanny or helper, you’re not just an employee, you’re an important part of the family’s caregiving team. Navigating parenting styles may be challenging at first, but with patience, open communication, and respect, you can build a strong and supportive relationship with both parents and children.
At Ministry of Helpers, we understand the challenges you face. That’s why we provide online resources, training, and support to help you grow in your caregiving role. Whether you’re new to childcare or an experienced helper, our platform is here to help you succeed.
You might be interested in:
Laundry 101: Pro Tips for Handling Different Fabrics, Stains, and Machines
Rainy Day Routines: Safe Cleaning Practices During the Monsoon Season
Top Skills Employers Are Looking for in 2025: How Helpers Can Stay Ahead
How to Discuss Salary, Bonuses, or Contract Renewal with Your Employer
School Holiday Survival Guide: How Helpers Can Support Families in June
Every family is unique and so is every parenting style. As a nanny or domestic helper, one of the most important parts of your job is to support the parenting approach of your employers. But what happens when the rules or methods differ from what you're used to? Or when one parent is strict and the other is more relaxed?
Don't worry, this guide will help you understand and navigate different parenting styles with professionalism, care, and respect.
What are the most common parenting styles?
Understanding basic parenting styles can help you recognise what kind of environment you’re working in. Here are four common approaches:
- Authoritative: Balanced and consistent. Parents set rules but are also warm and communicative.
- Authoritarian: Strict and rule-based. Less flexibility and emotional expression.
- Permissive: Very lenient. Kids are given a lot of freedom and parents often avoid saying "no."
- Uninvolved: Minimal supervision or involvement. Parents may be busy or emotionally distant.
Most parents don't fit perfectly into one category, they may mix styles depending on the situation.
Tips for handling different parenting styles
1. Observe and learn first
Before jumping in, take time to observe how the parents interact with their children. What are their routines, discipline methods, and priorities? This gives you a clearer picture of how to support them.
2. Communicate early and often
Clear communication is key. Ask about the family’s expectations, rules, and boundaries. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like:
- “How would you like me to handle tantrums?”
- “What’s your approach to screen time?”
- “Do you allow snacks before dinner?”
This shows respect and willingness to follow their lead.
3. Stay consistent with their rules
Even if their parenting style is different from what you believe in, your role is to follow their rules. Children thrive on consistency, so try to avoid sending mixed messages.Style is different from what you believe in, your role is to follow their rules. Children thrive on consistency, so try to avoid sending mixed messages.
Example: If the parents say “no sweets after 5 PM,” even if you think one cookie won’t hurt, it’s important to stick to their rule.
4. Handle conflicting parenting styles respectfully
Sometimes, one parent may be more strict while the other is more relaxed. This can be confusing for you and the children. When in doubt:
- Follow the parent who gave you the most recent or direct instruction.
- Don’t take sides.
- Politely ask for clarification when needed.
You might say: “Earlier you mentioned we should do X, but today Y was suggested, just checking which one you’d prefer I follow.”
5. Be a calm and neutral support
Avoid commenting or judging their parenting style. Even if you see something that feels “wrong” to you, your job is to support, not to correct. Focus on keeping the children safe, happy, and cared for.
6. Offer suggestions gently (If asked)
If you’ve built trust with the family and they ask for your opinion, it’s okay to share your experience but always be respectful. Use phrases like:
- “In my past experience, this worked well with toddlers.”
- “Would you like me to try a different method if this one isn’t working?”
Remember: You’re part of the team
As a nanny or helper, you’re not just an employee, you’re an important part of the family’s caregiving team. Navigating parenting styles may be challenging at first, but with patience, open communication, and respect, you can build a strong and supportive relationship with both parents and children.
At Ministry of Helpers, we understand the challenges you face. That’s why we provide online resources, training, and support to help you grow in your caregiving role. Whether you’re new to childcare or an experienced helper, our platform is here to help you succeed.
You might be interested in:
Laundry 101: Pro Tips for Handling Different Fabrics, Stains, and Machines
Rainy Day Routines: Safe Cleaning Practices During the Monsoon Season
Top Skills Employers Are Looking for in 2025: How Helpers Can Stay Ahead
How to Discuss Salary, Bonuses, or Contract Renewal with Your Employer
School Holiday Survival Guide: How Helpers Can Support Families in June