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Published on 1 Aug 2025 by Xyla P.
Domestic helpers are essential to many households in Singapore, providing care, comfort, and structure to everyday life. But like anyone else, they can experience emotional strain, loneliness, or dissatisfaction. As an employer, being attentive to your helper's well-being isn't just the kind thing to do. It's also key to a healthy, respectful working relationship.
Here are some common signs that your helper might be unhappy and how you can address the issue with compassion and clarity.
1. Sudden drop in communication
If your helper used to be cheerful or chatty but has become quiet, withdrawn, or avoids conversation, it could be a sign something’s wrong. Unhappiness may cause them to shut down or avoid social interaction.
What to do:
Gently check in. Ask how they’re doing, not just with work, but personally. A little empathy can open doors to honest conversation.
2. Visible signs of stress or fatigue
Dark circles, irritability, frequent sighing, or changes in appetite or energy may be signs of emotional or physical stress.
What to do:
Revisit their workload and schedule. Are they getting enough rest? Have they been able to take their weekly day off? Make sure your expectations are fair and aligned with MOM guidelines.
3. Drop in work quality
Everyone has off days, but if you notice a consistent decline in performance or attention to detail, it might be more than just a skills issue, it could be emotional burnout or low morale.
What to do:
Rather than criticising, approach them with concern. Ask if they’re feeling overwhelmed and explore how to support them better.
4. Avoiding eye contact or social interaction
Your helper might start avoiding family members or distancing themselves during shared times, like meals or outings. This may reflect discomfort, sadness, or fear.
What to do:
Create a safe environment where they can speak openly. Even small gestures of inclusion, like inviting them to join family activities or simply asking about their day can help them feel more connected.
5. Frequent requests to call home or return home early
If your helper often asks to make overseas calls or talks about returning home suddenly, she may be dealing with stress from both work and family matters.
What to do:
Offer her space to talk about her concerns. You may also help by giving time to connect with family or offering assistance in communicating with the embassy or support services if needed.
6. Changes in body language
Tense shoulders, nervous gestures, or hesitation when speaking to you may point to fear or discomfort.
What to do:
Reflect on your communication style. Are your instructions clear and respectful? Do you allow room for mistakes and learning? A positive tone can go a long way in improving trust.
How to support a happier helper:
- Review workload and rest time
- Check in regularly, not just about chores
- Encourage open and respectful communication
- Recognise good work and show appreciation
- Offer access to training or self-improvement tools (like those via StepUp)
- Use Ministry of Helpers’ Household Scheduler to clearly align expectations
- Ensure all legal obligations are fulfilled, including timely salary and a valid work permit
Your helper is not just an employee, she’s a human being living far from home, doing her best to support her family. By spotting the signs of unhappiness early and responding with care, you build not just a better working relationship, but also a kinder and more harmonious home.
A happy home starts with mutual respect and open hearts.
You might be interested in:
Maid Levy for Elderly in Singapore: What Employers Need to Know
How to Create a Balanced Schedule for Your Helper (Without Burnout)
Understanding Maid Transfer Fees in Singapore: What Employers and Helpers Should Know
Domestic helpers are essential to many households in Singapore, providing care, comfort, and structure to everyday life. But like anyone else, they can experience emotional strain, loneliness, or dissatisfaction. As an employer, being attentive to your helper's well-being isn't just the kind thing to do. It's also key to a healthy, respectful working relationship.
Here are some common signs that your helper might be unhappy and how you can address the issue with compassion and clarity.
1. Sudden drop in communication
If your helper used to be cheerful or chatty but has become quiet, withdrawn, or avoids conversation, it could be a sign something’s wrong. Unhappiness may cause them to shut down or avoid social interaction.
What to do:
Gently check in. Ask how they’re doing, not just with work, but personally. A little empathy can open doors to honest conversation.
2. Visible signs of stress or fatigue
Dark circles, irritability, frequent sighing, or changes in appetite or energy may be signs of emotional or physical stress.
What to do:
Revisit their workload and schedule. Are they getting enough rest? Have they been able to take their weekly day off? Make sure your expectations are fair and aligned with MOM guidelines.
3. Drop in work quality
Everyone has off days, but if you notice a consistent decline in performance or attention to detail, it might be more than just a skills issue, it could be emotional burnout or low morale.
What to do:
Rather than criticising, approach them with concern. Ask if they’re feeling overwhelmed and explore how to support them better.
4. Avoiding eye contact or social interaction
Your helper might start avoiding family members or distancing themselves during shared times, like meals or outings. This may reflect discomfort, sadness, or fear.
What to do:
Create a safe environment where they can speak openly. Even small gestures of inclusion, like inviting them to join family activities or simply asking about their day can help them feel more connected.
5. Frequent requests to call home or return home early
If your helper often asks to make overseas calls or talks about returning home suddenly, she may be dealing with stress from both work and family matters.
What to do:
Offer her space to talk about her concerns. You may also help by giving time to connect with family or offering assistance in communicating with the embassy or support services if needed.
6. Changes in body language
Tense shoulders, nervous gestures, or hesitation when speaking to you may point to fear or discomfort.
What to do:
Reflect on your communication style. Are your instructions clear and respectful? Do you allow room for mistakes and learning? A positive tone can go a long way in improving trust.
How to support a happier helper:
- Review workload and rest time
- Check in regularly, not just about chores
- Encourage open and respectful communication
- Recognise good work and show appreciation
- Offer access to training or self-improvement tools (like those via StepUp)
- Use Ministry of Helpers’ Household Scheduler to clearly align expectations
- Ensure all legal obligations are fulfilled, including timely salary and a valid work permit
Your helper is not just an employee, she’s a human being living far from home, doing her best to support her family. By spotting the signs of unhappiness early and responding with care, you build not just a better working relationship, but also a kinder and more harmonious home.
A happy home starts with mutual respect and open hearts.
You might be interested in:
Maid Levy for Elderly in Singapore: What Employers Need to Know
How to Create a Balanced Schedule for Your Helper (Without Burnout)
Understanding Maid Transfer Fees in Singapore: What Employers and Helpers Should Know